Wednesday 30 September 2009

Last days of coupledom, redux

Well, I thought that J and I had already had our last days of coupledom. You know, last month. We wanted to fill them with happy memories of when we were him and her rather than mum and dad, but to be honest they were mostly spent running around in ever decreasing circles, trying to pack and get ready for the trip.

But, as things turned out, here we are again, just the two of us.

So, what I want to know is: if you could have approximately a month before really becoming parents, what would you do with that month? Trips away are not an option, but I'm wide open to most other ideas. J is at work during the day, but I am not. Should I be sewing baby clothes? (Wow, it turns out baby clothes are really EXPENSIVE. Forget university education - this is what we should have been saving for). Should I be filling the freezer with defrostable meals? Should I be reading? Sleeping? And what should we be doing with our weekends and evenings?

Thing is, I don't really want to be in this situation, but since I am I don't want to waste it. I know that in a few months time, through a fog of tiredness, I will remember - I had more than a MONTH to fill, with almost no responsibilities. I want to at least look back and smile.

No word on court date yet, by the way.

13 comments:

  1. When we were waiting for court I had a really time even reading a book. I would sit down to read and then my mind would wander to "all things baby" (too bad, too, because my reading time as a mother is now miniscule!)

    I suggest being really active. Work out. Lift weights (you're going to need to be strong to carry around your babies all of the time).

    I did lots of sewing- make some baby bibs and burp clothes. Do you knit or crochet? That would be good.

    Oh, and sleep in! Stay in bed really late in the morning, even if you are awake. You won't be doing that again for a very looooong time.

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  2. I guess my only thought is to do whatever you want to do because it really does change drastically once you are parents. It's a good change, but I missed my time with just husband. This past weekend we celebrated the anniversary and wen went back to an old haunt in NYC and had just a regular day like we had back in the old days. That 'regular day' felt awesome, let me tell you. It reminded me of how much I treasure just being with him.

    I have to say, though, that my first thought was to nap because I became obsessed with my own sleep needs when little one started messing with it. Clean out a drawer or a closet if you feel it is bothering you now. When the babes come in, those kinds of things take a distant backseat, but they still bother your mind. That's just me, probably.

    It's hard to explain how changing it is, everybody gets through in their own way. Until then, I send you positive mojo.

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  3. Perhaps this is a given and just stating the obvious, but...sex?

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  4. read. sleep. go to movies. sit down to have dinner together (out at a restaurant if possible, but home is good too.) These are the main things I really miss since our twins came home. But I remember how it is... it's hard to enjoy NOW when you are busy thinking about SOON. So then make lists, check things off, read baby books--real baby books, not just adoption baby books. Turns out I really should have been reading about sleep habits of a 4 month old rather than spending my time reading about how to talk to my 5 yr old about race. I've got 4 more years to read about that!

    this month will be the slowest and yet the fastest month of your life. odd but true.

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  5. I mentioned it before, but I agree with the comment of reading books about sleep for babies - Good Night Sleep Tight is one of my favorites now. I would enjoy doing things with J. that you won't be able to once the babies are home for quite a while - eating out? Exercise to be strong for the babies. Meals will be wonderful to have made and put away (also see if some people can make them for you for the first weeks you are home). It will be nice later if you get any projects done now that you will wish you had just finished before you don't have much time to accomplish projects :-). As a friend of mine says - during the wait do self care... a special thing to pamper yourself? Also of course the best self care is spending time soaking in the presence of God. It will be different once the little ones are home and maybe there are some things He wants to speak to you to remember during the busy time of having twin infants. I keep praying daily for you and J. This is a hard time. I really admire you for your heart to not waste it...it would be so easy to do. Love for you and prayers for all your family- the babies included!

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  6. My first thought was sleep, since I imagine that there will be quite a lack of it soon. But other than that, I would say enjoy the little moments together. Go to your favorite restaurants or shops, have romantic dinners together, make a few more memories together just the two of you.

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  7. go to the movies!! that is something that JF and I never do anymore! I miss it. I agree with the weight lifting advice, too. Those babies are heavy and get heavier by the day! And be nice to yourself:o)

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  8. Oh man, this is a tough one! I think I'd stay up late, go to movies, go out to nice dinners, take long quiet baths...everything that you (hopefully) won't have time for very very soon! :)

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  9. Haha, I am with Julia on this one...and make some noise because it's usually only the quiet kind when kids are in the house! :)

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  10. Hmmmmmm, this is hard because I know how much it sucks to do one thing when all you really want is to be doing something else.

    I think the freezer meals are a great idea as you are not going to have time to make nice meals for awhile. Aside from reading baby books, I would probably also be looking for mommy groups or some kind of support network like a multiples group.

    Don't forget to throw in a little pampering for yourself. It could be as simple as painting your nails or enjoying a cup of your favorite tea, but it is something just for you.

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  11. Whatever you enjoy! Go out with your husband, enjoy quiet evenings at home, sleep, read, go out to eat, make meals that are time consuming. Life changes so much after babies. If you enjoy cooking, by all means make meals and freeze them it will make life much easier later.

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  12. hold hands. everywhere we go we are herding little people and our hands are busy putting on shoes, buckling seats, wiping noses, holding becuase legs are tired, etc. We just don't get to hold hands much anymore. Also, I recommend sleeping in until like, noon because that will never happen again ever. We don't ever remember what it is like to sleep past 7. We miss it. It must have been nice to stay up late and then sleep in. ooh, and enjoy peeing without someone watching. I haven't gone to te bathroom in 3 years without someone bugging me. -- Definitely all worth. Just some thing to appreciate before they are gone.

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  13. I wish I had some good advice, but I am in the same boat. I loved reading other people's comments, though! Let me know if you find something I must do, too, before our kids come home!

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Over to you!