That STUNK. I mean, it really, really STUNK.
I feel like I'm still getting to know them, and then suddenly I can't anymore. And when we go back, these babies won't be these babies anymore - they will be almost twice as old, and the babies we met won't exist anymore - poof, vanished into thin air. When we see them again, I WANT them to be big and strong, and to have put on lots of weight, but then they won't be the same babies that I knew, and what happened to the babies in between? It feels like some kind of small death - we will never see these tiny little ones ever again.
I've no idea whether this is better or worse than what most US adopters go through (where you can't visit the baby at all until after court). I'm not saying this is harder. It just is what it is. And it really, really stinks.