Tuesday, 21 July 2009

News that will surprise exactly nobody

I turned 30 on Friday as scheduled. However, obviously, the baby did not get the memo about this and no referral ensued.

Oh well.

(That's all the news, by the way).

I did, however, eat the largest meal known to man. We went out for my birthday to a really nice local restaurant (actually, not THAT local, as it turns out - we mistimed the driving, were late and got in serious trouble from an ultra-crabby waitress. The dining room was practically empty, but she was very very rude to us about turning up behind schedule. Did she not know it was my special day? And everybody has to be nice to me on my special day? Apparently not). and ordered the tasting menu. Which was six courses. Because it was my special day. Now, my understanding of tasting menus is that they are six very tiny courses, so you just get a little taste of each thing and it all adds up to one proper meal. Sort of like canapes, but with cutlery. Well not at this place, apparently - they just gave us six (seemingly randomly chosen) full courses from the menu. The food was very good, but it was an extremely strange experience. An entree, followed by ... another entree, then main course, oh and another main course, then chocolate pudding and what? You're still here? A giant plate of cheese! Okay then!

It was good, but I could barely move afterwards. The next day we went to London Zoo because J bought me a zoo membership for my birthday! Now I can go to the zoo every day for a year if I want to. I love a good zoo, and this is a particularly nice one. So, all in a all a nice weekend. But. I just keep thinking about the family member who isn't here yet, and their first family too. At the moment, we're thinking that we might hear of a referral around mid-September. And most of the babies that we know about from the orphanage we're working with have been abandoned, and thus need to be in care for 2 months prior to being referred. Which probably means that they are coming into care, what, now? This is not much fun to think about. Our baby's birthmother is possibly taking some incredibly difficult, life-altering decisions right now, and maybe today our baby is waking up for the first time in an orphanage - and we're at the ZOO?

Something feels very wrong with this picture.


  1. I know what you mean! It's all so messy, but that is what it is. At least you aren't ignoring it like the majority of the world. I'm just glad that some little baby going into an orphanage right now will not be there for long because you are ready and waiting....with Zoo membership in hand. He/she will get a lot of enjoyment out of your Zoo membership. Thinking of you and the birth mother as you get closer to that crossroad.


  2. It's hard when you start thinking about where your child is right now while you're waiting. Adopting from foster care, our child could be getting neglected or being abused as we speak. It's horrifying, but there's nothing we can do more than what we've done. All we can hope is that we can help with the healing. I'm trying to tell myself that every day is one step closer to our child.

    Your dinner sounds like a lot, but at least it was tasty.

    Happy 30th! I have the next decade birthday coming up in a few months. Those decade changing birthdays sure are special ones.

  3. Happy Belated Birthday. It is messy, messy and worrisome, and complicated.

  4. UGH!! 30 with no baby stings! Keep the faith, it will happen when it is supposed to (I keep telling myself!)

  5. Happy Birthday! I'm sorry the baby didn't get the memo, but the zoo membership sounds awesome.

    I know what you mean about the contrast between what's happening with the birth family and what's going on in your life. I find it really disturbing sometimes, thinking about what could be happening right now.


  7. Hugs, hun. I wish it weren't so complicated.

    I hope you are enjoying your time away and can't wait to hear how it went.

    I have been the proud owner and wearer of my liminal state bobcats t-shirt. I think I owe you a picture sometime, right? (-;

  8. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love it that I found yours and will be following your journey. Sounds like we may be at similar stages in this wait.

    Sorry you did not get what you wanted for your birthday. I, too, keep seeing the "perfect" day to get a referral go by and go by and go by. Oh well! Some random day will become THE DAY for us for the rest of our lives. Isn't that something?

    BTW, loved your thoughts on the birthmother of your child. I used to think more about her, but confess that lately, it's been me, me, me. Thanks for the perspective!


Over to you!