Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Episode 63: In which Claudia does some sharing

Well, it's New Year's Eve. This year it's on a wednesday (for those of you who are either unable to read a calendar, or reading this so far in the future that you've forgotten when NYE 2008 fell) which coincides with our church's regular wednesday night bible studies. Sooooo, tonight we're combining the regular wednesday night thing with a NYE dessert party (and I can hear all of you who are shaking your heads and saying 'this is why I don't go to church' - on this occasion, I totally know where you're coming from). Unfortunately, because it's NYE, it's going to incorporate a time of sharing about the year that's gone and our challenges for the new year.

Well. This year certainly has been an eventful one. And the year ahead is certainly likely to have its fair share of challenges. But we've been sticking to our 'no general sharing about the adoption until we've actually been approved' rule, and now isn't the time to break that, with only a week to go until the panel makes their decision. Also, to be honest, I am not really in the sharingest of moods, especially after all the stress of Christmas. Probably I'll do what I've been doing this whole year and just talk about work. Work has been pretty intense this year, but it's also been a convenient excuse for my sky-high levels of stress. If I was being honest, I think I would say that in 2008 I:

  • started a blog
  • lost a stone, and thus freed myself from the tyranny of constantly needing to wear high heels
  • applied to adopt a baby
  • thought things would get easier from there
  • found that they didn't
  • learned to doubt every good thing about myself
  • tried to remember that actually, it's very rarely about me
  • walked out of a church service for the first and hopefully only time in my life
  • realised that, no matter how hard the road, Romans 8:28-31 is always true
  • spent most saturdays in the second half of the year meeting with a social worker
  • was forced to admit to myself that not all social workers are ogres, and that actually we quite like ours
  • grieved a lot
  • despised myself for grieving so much
  • got promoted
  • found myself re-assessing my life in light of where my baby is going to come from
  • swore to change
  • felt like a hypocrite for still enjoying shopping
  • remembered how to knit
  • got a cat
  • found that trouble doesn't always make you stronger
  • was not the same person at the end as I was at the beginning.
Hmmmm. Think I'll stick to talking about work. Happy New Year, everyone!


  1. You made me smile and cry all at the same time...oh, how I love this post...thank you for sharing...and episode number...I appreciate that as well...Happy Bible Studying Dessert Potluck Having Happy New Year!

  2. Hugs, Caroline. I'm glad you share it all with us here. Truly hoping 2009 is full of less stress and more joy.

  3. Thanks so much for sharing your heart!!! I love it. I am getting caught up on your blog. I enjoy reading your thoughts...and appreciate your honesty always. I am praying for you as you await the panel. I am praying for the perfect timing for you to be united to your little one. I am so tired and have been up many nights rocking a crying boy to sleep and I keep thinking from this vantage point, "Lord, I wouldn't change one thing...not the barrenness, not the pain, not the wait" because it brought me to Jesus and it brought David to us. I am sooo looking forward with HOPE to that day for you!!! Holding you up in prayer as you continue the agonizing wait. Thank you SO MUCH for all your prayers the last few months...I have felt your encouragement and seen the answer to the prayers!!!

  4. So honest! Thank you for sharing... it was wonderful!
    Happy New Year! :)

  5. Happy New Year, Caroline. I sent you hugs hugs hugs too. You inspire me to be more open and honest on my blog despite my fears. And BTW, if you promise to tuck me into your luggage the next you jet off to Italy, then I'll give up Mariah Carey. I think that's a fair deal?




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