Friday, 28 August 2009


Thank you so much for all your lovely comments! They gladden my heart. It means to much to hear people cheering for us (and our BABIES!!) from afar :)

The last few days have been incredibly overwhelming. I know this is happening in my head, but I still can't make my heart believe it. I feel like the places in my brain where the unicorns and rainbows live have atrophied over the last few years, and I'm having to repeat over and over and over to myself - this IS happening! They really will be OUR babies! I'm not just a wild fantasist, making this all up! I keep waking in the middle of the night, sure we're going to get a phone call saying 'sorry guys, big mistake, sorry for the mixup, these babies are for the OTHER Claudia'. But it hasn't happened yet, and I'm beginning to trust that it won't. I think. Although typing 'our babies' above still feels like I'm writing fiction. Please bear with me as I adjust!

Have I mentioned how beautiful they are? We have a photo of the two of them together, and I have to admit that we're not 100% sure which is which. We think the boy is the one in blue, but they are so bundled up, and there is absolutely no way of telling for sure. We also have no idea whether either of them have any hair (although I think we can see a trace of pretty spectacular baby sideburns, so there is hope). The strangest thing, though: I have no idea what they are going to look like when they grow up, or even in a month's time. Guess that shouldn't really surprise me, huh? At the moment, their most noticeable feature is just how tiny they are, and I assume they're going to grow out of that - what next? I'd known in my head, but it had never really hit me before that, with most babies, you have some kind of an idea about how they will turn out, because barring unexpected recessive genes, they will be some kind of mix of mum and dad. But these two? We don't even know (yet) where in Ethiopia they are from. I've always known that, as I grew up, I would fight a losing battle with widening hips and need to apply lots of suncream to avoid the family legacy of skin cancer. At 30, my mother looked a lot like I do now, so it's a pretty fair guess that I will look like her at 55. But my daughter will look like neither of us, and looking at us won't help her to work out what the future holds. It's so strange to look at these little tiny faces and have absolutely no idea what sort of image they bear. What a joy it will be to find out as they grow.

This is the first moment that I've had to draw breath since we found out. I've been working on a giant project at work, which in a moment of stunningly bad timing was due this week and was absolutely non-negotiable. So I've been staying late and doing overtime, collating a whole load of data when all I want to be doing is googling 'double pushchairs' and 'cute outfits for twins' and screaming 'I don't CARE about all this! Don't you know we've got BABIES?' . That's done now, though, and I'm finally beginning to feel like I can breathe again.

I'll post the 'here's how it all went down' story soon. Because it has a lot to do with why I'm finding this all so hard to believe. And why I've been curled into a little knot lately, and not beeing commenting or emailing as I should. But not right now... I've got some googling to do!!


  1. WAHOO! It's 4:53am here in LA..and we have been home 3 days with our twins. They are still on ET time, hence my early morning reading. I am SOOOOO happy for you! I wondered what kind of big cosmic stuff happend in the blogosphere while I was gone! Feel free to email me about any twin questions...I don't really have any answers but we can maybe figure it out together. Here's what I can tell you: there is NO preperation, reasearch, or googling that will prepare you for the moment they hand you these two people. THey hand them to you and then leave. And there you are--with TWO HUMANS. It's totally insane--both in a lovely way and it the scariest way imaginable. I am so happy for you. Can't wait to read more! xoxo-kat

  2. Wooootttt!!!!!! Love it. I presume now the unicorns will be ushered back in?


  3. Yes, do get to that googling! This is your time. It sounds so amazing. I love this part of the journey on the blogosphere! Can't wait to hear the details!



  4. Hahaha! You described the "am I living a fantasy?" feeling so well! You are not alone in that feeling!...although it does get a little better as time seems to allow reality to set in...and updates are great too. I can't wait to see pictures of your cutie pies. YOUR cutie pies. I also can't wait to see read about your call story. I am SO excited for you!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! So so so happy for you, your husband, and your children! YOUR children. ;)

  5. You are THE Claudia, the right one, with two babies. It really is so miraculous, it makes sense that it seems like a fantasy or surreal. I love that you have a place in your head where there are unicorns and rainbows, even if it's been a little withered, what a nice place to grow some ideas. I hope you get to google your butt off today, girl.

  6. I have to tell you that it took me some time to recover from the amazingness that was your "babies" post. I had been having a strange day, kinda emotional, but I was better and I thought ... oh I'll just pop on over to see how Claudia's doing ... and it was like my breath was gone. GONE! It was magical, magical, magical but REAL.
    Now I am laughing. This post has made me laugh- atrophied part of the brain where the unicorns and rainbows live ... perfect! Imagining you .. yes, I know a "stranger", trying to be productive in any capacity while in a such a state of shock, disbelief, euphoria, catching rainbows, seeking unicorns, deciphering baby faces, freaking out, TWINS, etc. It seems like you should automatically get a reprieve from any ordinary activity for at least 48 hours- a law, I mean there is public safety to consider?
    All I can say is this is lovely, lovely, lovely. And I feel this glow that I'm beginning to think is just part of this adoption community/sisterhood as we are all so connected to each other through all of the stages, we truly do feel things together- hence the stopped heart, breathing, and glow of happiness ... or is it fairy dust? Either way ... I'm elated for you!!!

  7. This is just all so freakin' exciting I have goosebumps and happy tears for you!
    Enjoy every second of it, and google away!

  8. I have been waiting for this post and can't wait to hear how it all went down too. I love feeling your excitement and overwhelming feelings as you realize that this is really happening. The day you have waited for. You are a mom. Love, love, love this for you Claudia! Now get to googling and shopping. (-;

  9. Reading your blog makes me relive our post referral joy. You will never forget this feeling. Take comfort in knowing that it will all work out in the end. Everything that truly needs to be done before the babies are home will get done, the rest can wait. We are lucky enough to have pictures of our childrens' birth moms so we have some idea of what the future may hold for them.

  10. so looking forward to the is really happening!!!! Soon there will be two babies crying and you will be comforting them at all hours of the day! :-) It is such a surreal time before having them home though. And so exciting and weird to not know what our babies will grow up to look like. By the way - it sounds like they are almost exactly one year younger than our little guy! Praying you enjoy and soak in these wonderful moments! Also not sure if you will have time or what you have already done, but I wish I would have read a bit more on how babies sleep and how to help them sleep :-) before becoming a parent - just a random thought that if you haven't read a bit on (or talked to some experienced adoptive parents) AND you have time to it might be well worth it! :-) love lots C!


Over to you!