Thursday 5 February 2009

Do I hear a wagon?

If you listen very carefully, you might hear the sound of a wagon rolling through the land of blog. Not just any wagon - a BANDwagon (which is by far the best kind of wagon) - and once you've heard it, you will also hear me running after it and hollering and demanding to be let on board.

I'm not quite sure what to hand over for my ticket. One of these?

Or maybe one of these?

This, perhaps?

Nah. Maybe one of these:
I'm guessing at least 90% of you know what I'm talking about by this point. The driver of this bandwagon is the inestimable, inimitable Courtney, who is approximately a hair's breadth away from her referral. Last week she asked her blog friends to send her a bead. If you haven't read this post yet - read it. Read it now.

I think this is a wonderful idea, and I really want to join in. So much of this post touched me that I'm at risk of typing it all out again so I can say how meaningful I thought it was - I won't. But for me it really tapped into a need to feel - togetherness - on this crazy journey. I feel so alone sometimes, doing this. Nobody in my real life is doing this. If I needed breastfeeding advice, I would have people to ask. If I needed maternity clothes, I would have people to borrow from. If I had an ultrasound photo, I would have people to show it off to. If I needed morning sickness remedies, I would have people to call. But on this journey, in my life, where I live, I... don't.

On this path, I've been surprised by how much it has hurt not to be part of the collective female experience of giving birth to the next generation. I would like to have taken that baton from my mother and passed it on to my daughter. I would like to have taken it for granted. And I would like to have taken for granted a sisterhood that has been through what I am going through. And I don't use words like 'sisterhood' easily, so that's an indication of how much pain it has caused.

I love Courtney's idea because it is a reminder that there are other ways to create collective experience and lift each other up. You don't have to live close to someone for them to encourage you. You don't have to have met someone to send each other a bead.

I would so much love it if any of you wanted to send a bead to me. You don't have to be a mother, and you don't have to be adopting, and I don't have to know who you are - if you're reading this, and you'd like to send a bead, then I would absolutely love to receive one. And of course, anyone who wants one - wherever and whoever you are - I'll send you one back. I'll put my address in the top corner of my blog.

It. Would. Mean. So. Much.


  1. I just love your blog!

    So, now isn't this really a "Beadwagon."

    Oh and "On this path, I've been surprised by how much it has hurt not to be part of the collective female experience of giving birth to the next generation" is quite the perfect summation.

  2. I love blogland. I almost used "heart" blogland. Again. (ack!)

    The beadwagon is so cool.


  3. I am in tears. Thanks for your post and directing us to Courtney. I am going to begin searching for the bead I want to send to you!

  4. What an amazing post and idea. I would love to do this when I get back to CA.


    I absolutely love, love, LOVE what you have done with the idea.

    This statement, this particular one, rang through and through me:
    "On this path, I've been surprised by how much it has hurt not to be part of the collective female experience of giving birth to the next generation."

    THAT statement is why we are doing what we are doing. Beautifully said.

    I'm on the BEADwagon... for you!

  6. You are not dropping the baton, my angel. You're just adding a runner from another team. The baton (along with your love and all you believe about justice & sharing & kindness and -- I dearly hope -- your sense of humor) will get passed.

    I may have to send you a whole necklace...

  7. What they all said. I'm going to find the perfect bead and send it to you. It will be the bead to end all beads. {{{{{C}}}}}


Over to you!