Thursday, 27 February 2014

In Summary

Things have been complicated around here lately, so I'm summarising. 

Last Monday, I took our children to stay with their grandparents for two nights so that I could go to work while Jay was too incapacitated to care for the children. I got back home after an incredibly long rainy drive on the M4 and Jay said Claudia, I don't want to worry you, but I'm going to tell you something that's going to worry you. He told me, and it did worry me. It was also pretty gross, so I'm going to refrain from posting the specifics all over the entire internet, but two paramedics and an ambulance ride later, he spent that night in hospital. 

I got home from the ward at 3.30am, and I did not end up working on Tuesday. Instead, I went to pick Jay up. He called me from his bed - once at 7.30am (needing details of medication), once at 8.30 (by accident) and then at 9.30, to tell me he was being cleared for discharge. Could I come to get him? I thought you were getting a cab home, I said, blurry and still half-asleep. I can't get a cab, he told me. I'm far, far too stinky for a cab. 
Oh, well that's fine then. I said. I can't wait. 

By Wednesday his pain was pretty well controlled and he'd begun to wean himself off some of the more psychotropic medication. I quite liked the side effects of some of it - he was quite sincere and sweet for a few days there, sort of like finally having a spaniel.  I thought it was him just being really grateful to me for me being such an awesome wife while he was ill, but nope, turns out it was the drugs. He remembers nothing from the time he was on that stuff, which is awkward now because he did agree to me booking tickets to the States for a week in June on my own, even if he doesn't remember it now. (He did. I swear). 

Then Monday morning, we went to see the spinal specialist. He said Jay is probably going to need surgery, but he's not quite sure which surgery exactly. Recommended an MRI, which Jay had first thing this morning. (Sidebar - MRI in three days? How freakishly amazing is private health insurance!? We've only just found out that Jay has it through work and while I kind of disapprove of it in principle, it turns out to be pretty spectacular in practice). 

So yesterday morning, Blue accidentally locked himself in our hallway, possibly (okay definitely) due to some angry door slamming (by him, okay? By him!) He was there for an hour, screaming, while I called locksmiths and wiggled screwdrivers frantically into the latch mechanism. By the time he got out, he was catatonic with rage and shock and to be frank, I wasn't much better. 

Today I've begun to incubate a truly spectacular head cold. 

Tomorrow we have to go back to the spinal specialist for his opinion on the MRI and his recommendations about surgery. 

I feel like I could sleep for a thousand years. 

But Saturday? 

Saturday is March 1st so I'm starting a novel. 

Don't worry, I know this is a spectacularly bad idea. Writing a novel in a month was already  bad idea when I decided to do it a few weeks ago. Is this the dumbest idea I've ever had? I wondered. But with everything that's happened lately (and everything that is still going to happen) I can definitively say yes, this is the dumbest idea I've ever had. 

And yet! February has really stunk. I kind of suspect that March is going to stink just as much, but I'm doing the novel thing anyway. After all, I can't stop the stinky stuff happening, but when I look back to March 2014, I don't just want to remember discombobulation, cranky kids, a limping husband and the looming possibility of surgery. I want to remember oh yeah, that was the month I wrote a really bad novel. 

(obviously, all bets are off if Jay's surgery actually has to happen in March. I think novelling through that would cross me over from 'unstoppable to 'in serious denial about priorities' )I'm probably not going to blog much while it's happening - although I can't promise I won't be updating with breaking news like word counts  requests for help with naming characters outcome of consultations with the spinal specialist. 

It's not too late to join in - let me know on facebook if possible and I'll add you to a group where we can kick each others' butts into gear when we get lazy mutually encourage one another.  I'm really interested to see what genre people are writing in. Personally, my secret weakness as a reader is girly romantic comedy so that's what I'm doing. Here's my first sentence: 

Afterwards, Martha thought that it had probably been a bad idea to kiss her thesis adviser. 

See? Girly and trashy! (Spoiler - he does NOT kiss her back). I'm not allowed to write any more until we start on Saturday. 

Now - tell me... what surname goes well with Martha? 


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  2. Rutherford. ANY name goes well with a last name like Rutherford.


  3. Love you. So glad Jay is home and speeding toward something that might allow for real recovery. And thanks for making me feel a little better about melting down over a $900 car repair bill, a non-specified full-body rash on my DH and being so generally disorganized that something as simple as getting a haircut has eluded me for two months. So. We'll just keep all this in perspective.

  4. Hayward, Feinstein, _______well.

    Hey, I think you'd write a great chick-lit type of book! I love your writing. I hope we can learn more. :D

    So sorry about all of the stress and pain with your husband and household!

  5. I once had a substitute teacher whose last name was Pickell, prounounce puh-KELL, of course. But guess what we called her? Mrs. Pickle. I mean, duh, we were seventh graders.

    I'm also fond of anything ending in worth.

    I hope everything only gets better from here for Jay, or that at the very least, the hospital parfaits are as delicious there as they are here. It's never fun to have someone you love endure surgery and recovery, but a good Oreo, chocolate pudding, and questionable-whipped-cream-substance parfait makes it all more bearable.

  6. Holmes? Black? Anderson?

    Hope Jay is feeling better?

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  8. Is Martha Irish? For some reason, I picture her as Irish and with the last name of McGonagle (McGonagel? not sure of the spelling)

    Now that I see it typed out, I also like the sound of Martha Irish :)

  9. Personally I think you should go with something Italian-ish. That way you can invent a mysterious back story. All bodice ripping heroines have a mysterious back story.

    Very, very, sorry about Jay. Very, very excited about you coming to the US in June! (is it true? To which coast?) You might have to put in an appearance at my book club!!! How exciting!!! And ps, didn't Jay also promise you a pair of diamond earrings for being such a lovely wife?
    I thought so too. ;-)

  10. um.... sorry about Jay and all , oh and the Kid in the Hall thing- that's bad... and yeah, great about your book-in-a-month plan but did you say you're coming to The States this summer!?!?! I saw something on FB asking if you liked hushpuppies (which you will, trust me) and I wondered if a trip was in the works! Details please!! Layovers in Minneapolis??? You can visit my Habasha twins and not have to do a thing towards raising them! Doesn't that sound dreamy!?

  11. Mayer :)

    Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs.

  12. requests for help with naming characters

    I can TOTALLY help with that. Having studied onomastics for 20+ years, it really grates on me when novel or movie characters have unrealistic names.

    Now - tell me... what surname goes well with Martha?

    What is her age and social class? Is she American or British? Or German? These will all make a big difference.


Over to you!