Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Now that I've finally got over myself

Lately, I've been finding myself thinking, all the time, about my baby's birth mother. I'm suddenly very aware that there is a woman, somewhere in Ethiopia, who is probably pregnant with my future baby right now. What is her life like? What is she like? How much is she suffering? Is she angry that she's pregnant? Frightened? Thrilled? Is she already making a plan about what to do? Or is she looking forward to this baby, and doesn't know what's going to happen between now and then that mean she won't be able to care for it? Does she already have children? Is she still a child herself? Does she have enough to eat? Does she have HIV? Is she unmarried, and are her family angry? Would she absolutely despise me if she knew how much money I had just spent on a handbag? And who is the father? Is he involved in her life? Will he help her through this?
So many questions, and I suppose I'll never know any of the answers.
Except for the handbag one, that's probably a 'yes'.


  1. It seems so abstract - I've tried to think of this and without a referral, it just seems like there's this abstraction. It's difficult to fathom. I'm sure Olly is out there, but neither know who is or who are his birth parents if they live, obviously. I can only begin to imagine the profoundly difficulty of having to eternally separate from a child and making the selfless decision of putting them up for adoption, if in fact it is an affirmative action....


  2. Yes- exactly that, Cindy. So abstract, and no answers. I have sort of tried to think about this before, and it's never really seemed real. Suddenly, just in the last few weeks, I'm thinking about it all the time.

  3. yes feel free to link to my post! I am thankful for what God is doing in me to encourage others!

    abstract is such a good word! It is great to look back in my journals and see how the times I was really thinking about our boy's mom were times when she probably really needed my prayers based on his conception and birth date...Makes me think the Lord is guiding your heart. It is so good to know that God is aware and our lives and the children he has chosen to be in our families are not abstract to Him.

    makes me randomly think of this song:


Over to you!