I know I shouldn't be upset about this but I am. I really am.
Someone has taken our girl name!!!
It's a lovely name. A lovely Ethiopian name. With a beautiful Ethiopian meaning. And while we've heard of other adoptive families who have used this name (showing great taste, I think) J and I have often joked that, no matter what the trials of an international adoption, at least you don't have to worry that someone you know in real life is going to steal your favourite Ethiopian name.
We've been thinking a lot about names lately, and while we haven't firmed up any decisions (if we're thinking of twins, we need to be ready with a total of EIGHT names, including middle names) this is our joint favourite name for a girl. When I think of my Ethiopian-dream-baby, and I'm thinking about a girl, this is the name that the dream-baby has.
I can see why they used it - it sounds really pretty - although I have no idea how they came across it. And I know this shouldn't bother me, and we should name OUR baby however we want to. But we know these people quite well, and they know lots of people in my family, and it would be really weird for us to look like we're copying their incredibly unusual (to Westerners) name.
Also, it was my mother who told us about this new baby's name and I got the impression she didn't like it.
Someone has taken our girl name!!!
It's a lovely name. A lovely Ethiopian name. With a beautiful Ethiopian meaning. And while we've heard of other adoptive families who have used this name (showing great taste, I think) J and I have often joked that, no matter what the trials of an international adoption, at least you don't have to worry that someone you know in real life is going to steal your favourite Ethiopian name.
We've been thinking a lot about names lately, and while we haven't firmed up any decisions (if we're thinking of twins, we need to be ready with a total of EIGHT names, including middle names) this is our joint favourite name for a girl. When I think of my Ethiopian-dream-baby, and I'm thinking about a girl, this is the name that the dream-baby has.
I can see why they used it - it sounds really pretty - although I have no idea how they came across it. And I know this shouldn't bother me, and we should name OUR baby however we want to. But we know these people quite well, and they know lots of people in my family, and it would be really weird for us to look like we're copying their incredibly unusual (to Westerners) name.
Also, it was my mother who told us about this new baby's name and I got the impression she didn't like it.
Sigh. I guess we could always change our gender preference from 'open' to 'boys only'...
I feel your pain. My sister-in-law was SO sweet to call me while they were thinking of baby names to ask if we had any particular names that we loved that they should avoid. I thought it was weird at first for her to ask, but now I see how thoughtful that was. I also have a name in mind for our Ethiopian girl and I would be a sad if someone close to our family chose the same name before we did. It seems silly, but it is sad to have a certain picture in your head that can be changed based on someone else's decision. The good news is that your daughter will be unique no matter what.
ReplyDeleteThat SUCKS!!! OMG, I am so sorry to hear this! I would still stick with "open" for preference, and see what happens. Too bad there is no such thing as "dibs" for names...
ReplyDeleteOh, maaaaaaaan... unbelievable. Still. Are they there in the UK or back in Oz? Because if you really love the name and they live thousands o miles away, I don't see why you shouldn't. You'll have to explain it once or twice, probably ("We've been working on adopting from Ethiopia for a long time and that was a name we decided on quite a while ago") but eventually everyone will forget about it.
ReplyDeleteJust use the name... I'm pretty sure I know who you mean, and I really like the name - I don't think mum was all that into it, but I don't think she hated it either (not that that should matter anyway, whereas what I think does matter of course!).
ReplyDeleteSeriously, use it. Maybe it's easier for me to say because I hardly ever see those people, but after people initially think "is that the same name x and y used? Oh, it is" I doubt they'd give it another thought. Really I don't think people would think much about it. And your UK friends don't even know them. If you can agree on a name, I say stick to it!