There is a level of self-pity that I cannot bear to even inflict on the blogosphere. I've been hiding (OKAY, wallowing) for the last week or so, just feeling devoid of hope.
I haven't planted any mint
My eyebrows are a mess
(I have done some amharic practise though).
As is usually the case, though, after a few days of feeling intensely sad, things are beginning to look up a bit. Nothing has actually changed, it just all feels a bit more manageable. If we have to wait until October, when courts open again, to find out about our baby, I will live.
After all, that's only 8 weeks, and I've been alive for about 1564 weeks, so it's only about half a percent of my life. A drop in the bucket, really.
If our baby lives to be seventy, it's only 0.2 percent of their total life. Hardly noticeable. The turn of a page.
It would mean waiting 14% longer than we already have, and that feels like a long time. But we've managed so far.
And we'll get through this last bit.
I'm sure of it.
Waiting is tough. *hug*
ReplyDeleteYes, you will. This IS hard! You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteYou will totally get through it and I won't use any stomach-turning phrase like "with flying colors," but you will. If it's even the most microscopic bit of consolation, my eyebrows are a HORROR right now. Worse than yours, you don't even need to lay an eye on the savage animals.
ReplyDeleteCindy
Waiting is hard. Sometimes it feels like I'm just going through the motions of living in order to get to the other side of this time. I'm glad you're beginning to feel a bit better about it.
ReplyDeleteha! I've found someone who is nearly as neurotic about playing with statistics as I. if it makes you feel better, i took the last three months pretty much off and pretty much was a non-showering fiend. we're back to personal hygiene now that we're "back in the saddle again."
ReplyDeleteUgh! Waiting sucks!!! Yes, yes it does!
ReplyDeleteYou will get thru this though....you want it to badly not to!
I LOVE YOU!!!! Your perspective in AMAZING!! I wish you lived in Boston. I want to hang out!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry the waiting is so hard:o(
A few summers ago, I decided to become awesome at making mojitos. I went as far as doing taste tests with people to find the BEST recipe. But they are a pain to make, and at the mojito party that we hosted, all i did was make mojitos for other people. It was EXHAUSTING. I say, "screw the mint"!
Waiting sucks! It's by far the worst part. I hated every minute of it. The only consolation is after you have your baby or babies home and you realize that it was all worth it because they were meant to be a part of your family and any other baby wouldn't be the same. Hang in there. Your time will come (I'm hoping that it's soon!) and I can't wait to hear all about it.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I am sorry this waiting part is so sucky. It really does get old always feeling like we are waiting for our "real lives" to begin. I think we know it is bound to wear on us, but that never really helps when we are knee deep in it.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I absolutely love your statistics. This made my total nerdy-numbers head smile.
Thirdly, there is no level of self-pity that we can't handle out here in the blogosphere. Let it out whenever you need to. I know I have definitely been there too. Sending lots of hugs while you wait a bit more...
I love your perspective by looking at the days...you will get through it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel--it might seem dim or barely visible right now, but before you know it it will be blinding you and you'll be steamrolled by that little baby or babies!
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs across the ocean!
just thought I'd let you know, self pity or no, we've missed you in the blogosphere this week.
ReplyDelete