tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post1079056924344555752..comments2023-10-19T13:55:22.556+01:00Comments on my fascinating life: Like You've Just Stepped Out Of A SalonClaudiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09352341442556433375noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-58260887178526304272011-06-11T04:25:26.866+01:002011-06-11T04:25:26.866+01:00Commenting late, but your bad experience at the sa...Commenting late, but your bad experience at the salon was most likely due to you taking a toddler to a salon. Unless a salon specializes in dealing with young children, they really aren't prepared for a child that young. This is coming from a Black mother of Black son who started going to the barber at 2 1/2. He squirmed a lot and the barber wasn't very happy.<br /><br />Also, part of it might be due to race in that "White parents are adopting Black children and have no idea how to do with their hair." I don't know any Black parents who would take their 1 or 2 year old daughter to a salon to have their hair braided. That's usually something you learn at home. In your case, you can try looking for young woman who might be willing to come to your home (you go to hers) to do your daughter's hair and teach you as well.Sherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10706793444573997955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-78194961385861005952011-06-07T05:23:19.747+01:002011-06-07T05:23:19.747+01:00This was hard to read. I'm sorry for Pink. I...This was hard to read. I'm sorry for Pink. I'm sorry for you. I hope there is someone out there who can help you both the way you deserve it next time...which will be when she is around 15 judging by how hard this was. Many hugs, friend.Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14504607607464320241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-63973448155254927982011-06-02T20:54:34.775+01:002011-06-02T20:54:34.775+01:00oh my oh my. sorry for you and sorry for pink. sor...oh my oh my. sorry for you and sorry for pink. sorry that in life people will experience prejudice..... <br />Pink looks SO CUTE and would even with no hair... which I am thinking might have to happen to get the braids out! ;-) Love to you all!!! <br />(I am sure others have told you about the tangle teezer.... for us it WORKS! In the bath....Hollihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17769334647328805623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-14326004601468866862011-06-01T19:03:13.098+01:002011-06-01T19:03:13.098+01:00Oh, yeah, just wanted to say, too, that is an awes...Oh, yeah, just wanted to say, too, that is an awesome insight: "I even get to have white privilege when I'm talking about the fact that I may have experienced racial prejudice." Exactly. A lot of people don't get it. Thanks for articulating all that you did in part 2.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-69840879998202352482011-06-01T05:44:32.637+01:002011-06-01T05:44:32.637+01:00The woman at the salon was just plain ol' WRON...The woman at the salon was just plain ol' WRONG! Although it wasn't racism, it was definately prejudice and bigotry in full force, to which I would have taken my children out of the salon, wiped my feet at the door and NEVER looked back. Oh BTW, I'm Ethiopian too, and yes, it could have happened at an Ethiopian salon as well because I've experienced stupid business behavior and the ill treatment of those in management from all forms of ethinic groups. Like Sugar Honey Iced Tea, it happens because folks aren't loving nor respectful to others outside of their familiar. Good for you for recognizing when healthy race relations towards one another is smelling FOUL (like Sugar Honey Iced Tea)! I applaude you! <br /><br />Jebena---the Abesha-bunna queen!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-50354852754619905992011-06-01T01:21:16.945+01:002011-06-01T01:21:16.945+01:00She seems way too young to go to a salon and have ...She seems way too young to go to a salon and have her hair braided by strangers. When I would do my daughter's hair, I had to have lollipops, videos, and another adult read her books. If they don't usually do toddlers, they could have been annoyed that you even brought her. Even Supercuts seems annoyed when you bring in little kids. They don't have any toys to distract them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-91820716817093426612011-05-31T14:59:45.963+01:002011-05-31T14:59:45.963+01:00Thank you very much for posting this! We just brou...Thank you very much for posting this! We just brought home our 5 year old daughter and 9 year old son from Liberia. We are Caucasian. we have not met with this "yet" but we live in Tennessee. I am sure we will. I dread it. I don't hold my tongue very well. I will have to learn. I am so sorry you and your daughter went through this!Ami Carrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10587010107465300546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-7881117610980282002011-05-29T00:32:22.586+01:002011-05-29T00:32:22.586+01:00BTW, I keep coming back because it's shocking ...BTW, I keep coming back because it's shocking to me. I have felt totally embraced by the black folks I meet, like Semi Feral's arguments: for the sake of my kid. Not ostracized. <br /><br />Yes yes, there HAS to be Ethiopians somewhere near you, right???scooping it uphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08801475653537826888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-42176261445040887722011-05-27T20:02:33.281+01:002011-05-27T20:02:33.281+01:00Here I am... Back from the non-commenting abyss! :...Here I am... Back from the non-commenting abyss! :)<br /><br />I have to think a lot more about your part II. As I've mentioned, Michael's applying to different jobs in different states. We've intentionally chosen states or cities where we would be minorities or very close to it.<br /><br />Your part II gives me a lot to think about as I imagine playgrounds, churches, doctors' offices, etc.---all places where occasional rude interactions take place.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09496203933580303223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-91650079734285747962011-05-27T04:36:28.031+01:002011-05-27T04:36:28.031+01:00That sounds just awful, really awful. I give you a...That sounds just awful, really awful. I give you a ton of credit for sticking with it and seeing it through. Of course, your daughter is adorable and would be with a mop on her head, so the row braids only make her cuter!<br /><br />I think, had a black person related a similar story I would have thought there was racism involved but would not have mentioned it. Why? I would worry I might make them feel bad. Which sounds absurd I'm sure, especially since the fictional black person would have probably already been aware. I would only mention it if we were close. Anyway.The Accidental Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00409271721074309249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-68479563530810580122011-05-26T17:36:47.060+01:002011-05-26T17:36:47.060+01:00Hi Claudia, I'm a devoted reader and lover of ...Hi Claudia, I'm a devoted reader and lover of your blog, but only an occassional commenter (tisk). I loved this post and hated that you had a horrible experience. I agree with everyone above. You really made me think about the bit where all your white colleagues asked if you thought it was because you were white, and how that seemed an acceptable question to everyone. I wonder if white people think its okay to ask that because we have a collective and unconscious guilt about our treatment of black people and so perhaps we are deserving of their unfriendly behavior. Or, perhaps (more likely) race only matters (to most white people) when a white person is on the receiving end of hostility. Just my thoughts and not sure I added anything of value. (I don't know how you manage to write such coherent posts as I feel I'm getting tied in knots just trying to get this comment out as I'd like it!)Corinnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659175600282186403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-31451820449725551602011-05-26T12:57:39.432+01:002011-05-26T12:57:39.432+01:00You rock.:)You rock.:)The Lost Planetistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16459092754901997729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-78941152058055251622011-05-26T03:13:06.880+01:002011-05-26T03:13:06.880+01:00I can't believe you told people they could ski...I can't believe you told people they could skip part II - part II is where it's at!<br /><br />I give you a lot of credit for putting yourself in such an uncomfortable position. One of the reasons I've worked so hard to learn how to do Elfe's hair myself is so that I don't have to figure out how to be a white woman in an African-American salon - I'm just not ready to step that far outside my comfort zone yet. You should not have been treated like that, it doesn't matter what the motivation behind it was, that's no way to run a business and no way to treat people, period!InventingLizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08882590455596544329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-46894770836519573772011-05-26T02:28:39.169+01:002011-05-26T02:28:39.169+01:00whoa.whoa.Sha Zam-https://www.blogger.com/profile/11705917883828933628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-30099175531520300902011-05-26T00:30:36.838+01:002011-05-26T00:30:36.838+01:00So, I was too mad to read the bottom of this post ...So, I was too mad to read the bottom of this post well. I will come back to it First I have to get my say in (and yes, I know, you all just started feeling sorry for my husband.)<br />Whether the women's behavior was racially motivated or not, it was still unacceptable, completely rude, crazy behavior. Where is the sisterhood? Oh, they don't feel a sisterhood towards you because you are white? Okay, well what about the sisterhood to your daughter? What about mentoring a VERY young black girl? What about showing respect to that girl's mother? <br />I feel terrible that it didn't go well for the woman who was willing to do the braids, because I like that she at least confronted her coworkers in a professional way. I am sorry I was not with you.<br />I wonder if I would have had the presence of mind to say, "If our business is not welcomed here, can you please just tell us directly?" <br />Well, I am learning again. I will now have that sentence in my arsenal (and hopefully will remember it when I need it.)<br />As for the white privilege thing, yes, and wow, and just another thing to think about.<br />Bigotry is one possible explanation for poor treatment in many, many interactions. When is it important to recognize that? When is it important to ignore it as a reason because we risk becoming victim-like in our relationships/dealings with other people?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-34017182573457568042011-05-25T23:15:14.409+01:002011-05-25T23:15:14.409+01:00I am sure if you go to an Ethiopian hear salon the...I am sure if you go to an Ethiopian hear salon the experience would be different. I am not sure if there is one in your area but if there is an Ethiopian restaurant in your area they will help you too.<br /><br />From an EthiopianAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-3365924647266722982011-05-25T20:02:44.898+01:002011-05-25T20:02:44.898+01:00I actually think this should be required reading b...I actually think this should be required reading by Caucasian parents who are interested in adopting trans-racially. While most parents think they might be up to the challenges, I have to admit, I would have been super-intimidated at that salon!!!<br />Your point about racism is very valid. I definitely went to the race issue when reading the story. A lot to think about.everythingismeowsomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06671155513531459483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-30854692307645960412011-05-25T20:02:11.948+01:002011-05-25T20:02:11.948+01:00I am pissed they did cornrows, takes WAY longer an...I am pissed they did cornrows, takes WAY longer and is WAY more painful. I kinda wish you'd walked out. And I don't give a shit why they treated you the way they did, it was totally unacceptable. And then charging you more was also unacceptable. <br /><br />I like your part two mind blowing experience. Love it. LOVE IT. LOVE YOU.<br /><br />Here is a thought: I went up to girl with awesome twists sand braids at the store yesterday and asked where she got her hair done. She said friends do it. We exchanged emails and one might be able to come to my house to do it. I wonder if you could find someone who could be kind, be respectful, avoid a new environment, and hand that girl and ENTIRE bag of chocolate chips that she gets to hold and eat from in front of her favorite movie... <br /><br />Ok, that's it. I am out of ideas. For now.<br /><br />I am so sorry.scooping it uphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08801475653537826888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-61214315603655690222011-05-25T19:45:50.747+01:002011-05-25T19:45:50.747+01:00DS#1 hated to have his hair cut until he was at le...DS#1 hated to have his hair cut until he was at least ....hmmmmm....I wanna say about 12 years old. Nah, just kidding, but he was a difficult one. He had sensory issues, my poor guy.<br /><br />Anyway, I think pink look spectacular but your experience was an eye opener on so many levels. Thank you for taking the time to type it out and examine it for us to think about.Casa Bicicletahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06853253312120595615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-69836635725731887462011-05-25T19:05:09.568+01:002011-05-25T19:05:09.568+01:00I was cringing throughout. I would have been SO te...I was cringing throughout. I would have been SO tense.<br /><br />Poor Pink :)<br /><br />Although... as a lot of my family keep saying when I say I don't like the pain of having my hair blowdried by rough hairdressers, "you have to suffer for your beauty" :)<br /><br />what about if you hold her (and EXCELLENT choice of songs, Pink!) and J tries to braid??? :)Marcia (123 blog)https://www.blogger.com/profile/15581613927187600748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-9472248709549346812011-05-25T18:38:22.794+01:002011-05-25T18:38:22.794+01:00Wowzer. And I thought I was traumatized by taking...Wowzer. And I thought I was traumatized by taking Joseph to get his hair buzzed, but it was nothing like that. And, loved reading your brain explosion. I think if everyone could have an experience like this, have an open mind to truly ponder like you ... well, wouldn't the world be a much better place!Captain Murdock {Godwilladd.com}https://www.blogger.com/profile/10151917245728402556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-38930741957100118352011-05-25T18:10:35.847+01:002011-05-25T18:10:35.847+01:00Yikes--this sounds like it was quite an experience...Yikes--this sounds like it was quite an experience. I'm sorry it was so hard--although she looks absolutely *adorable*. Sounds like you hung in there with her, though--just wish it was a more welcoming environment. As usual, lots to think about!<br />MollyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-74920982312111435542011-05-25T17:15:08.878+01:002011-05-25T17:15:08.878+01:00Her hair looks beautiful! I love cornrows, that...Her hair looks beautiful! I love cornrows, that's what Zufan always had before we did the locs. It should stay awhile, and is supereasy to maintain. You just have to find a place you feel welcome and comfortable. We had a great girl do Z's hair, for $20.00 a time which is super, super cheap, so I'd always give her a big tip. The experience shouldn't be tramatic for anyone. Including the washtime, we were always in and out in 1/2 hour, 3/4 hour max. It took our girl about 15 or so minutes to do the 8 or so rows. However, you don't find that on the first shot. The very first salon we went to Z got braided, and it took over 2 hours, including messing around and breaks and general slowness and awkwardness. Keep at it, and find somewhere that works!!! She is SO cute. LOVE the hair. Really. It is perfect.<br /><br />StacyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2075858460867483977.post-81013223727099686942011-05-25T17:15:06.166+01:002011-05-25T17:15:06.166+01:00Oh wow!
Your brain explosion has left me with a l...Oh wow! <br />Your brain explosion has left me with a lot to think about. <br />Sorry Pink's first salon experience was such a disaster :(. <br />I am pretty decent at box braids...and I have never been to England ; )Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16842778531500045113noreply@blogger.com